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Monday 10 June 2013

Unusual visitor


LI: To write a recount

SC:I need to include the 5ws, adjectives, speech and at least 1 simile

MAKE A COPY OF THIS DOC.AND SAVE IT IN YOUR WRITING FOLDER.

Use this picture to write a recount:

Think about the 5 ws :
* When ?
* Where ?
* Who ?
* Why ?
* What ?

How does it end?

(Remember to begin with a hook to get the attention of the reader, use adjectives, include speech, a simile or a metaphor, use descriptions based on some of the five senses of touch, smell, sight, hearing and taste.)


Remember to edit your writing and check that it has clear meaning. Share it with a buddy and save it in your writing folder.
An Unusual Visitor

On a warm sunny day there was a lion cub tanner who was a tall light haired man with a nice smile and who was a suitable dressed handsome young man  his name was John  Michaels who was born in Ireland.  He had been working for a tanner for over 12 years. Every night he would see if all of the cubs had enough food and water for the next morning. When he woke up he was playing with the cubs and throwing their favourite toy Mr.Squeaky John's favourite cub was named Kapree  . One night there had come a call in John’s house inside of his kitchen there comes a unusual call out of nowhere a call ringing up to say that he had got a job to become a mechanical worker he loved to fix cars and screamed out “YES” I will take it in an excited voice.


He didn't realise that the gate was still unlocked because he was so excited about his new job and just carried on screaming singing and dancing... So then the cubs were still up they didn't go to sleep so they actually decided to firmly crawl out of the gates and go for a walk they were really hungry and thirsty so they went to hunt for some food. One of the cubs didn't realise that there was a cat on the road the cubs were so hungry chased it down the road and there was a car speeding ver 60ks up the road and the cat went straight to the car and led the cub straight to it and then CRASH the cub got run over by the horrifying unrespectful driver. John couldn't even hear the crash that injured one of John's favourite cub was Kapree who was the only girl cub. When the stupid driver walked out of the car he straight away rung the ambulance on 111 and a man picked up “Hello this is Ryan at the ambulance station how can i help” and the driver said in a worried voice “Ah hello can i have a ambulance come up to 59 A Seymour Road Cass Ireland there has been a lion cub i have just crashed into and it is a female.” “Ok thank you there will be a ambulance on its way just stay with the cub and we will be there as soon as possible.” “OK” said the man in a calm voice. So John had heard the siren and went outside to lock the gates and found out the cubs were not in there so ran outside to see what was happening and saw 1 of his cubs lying on the ground and ran straight to them “Kapree no thats my cub.”  And one of the officers said“Sorry sir you are not allowed to pass this point.” said the ambulance driver.They took the cub to the vet hospital and tried their hardest to bring the little cub back to itself Kapree was a sustainable cub. But whatever we did we tried our hardest to bring her back to life but everything we did we just couldn't. So we had to give the bad news to John.”I am so sorry  but we really tried to bring her back to life but we just couldn’t.” “I am sorry John.” “ Well can I atleast see her.” ”Yes come right ahead” So John went to the room that Kapree was in and dropped to his knees and said in a  firm voice.”Oh I am so sorry Kapree, I was on the phone talking about a job instead of closing the gates and giving you food and water you could still be alive if I didn't take that call I would've locked the gates and gave you food but no I took a stupid call I am very sorry.”  “ This is all my fault.”So John stood back up and sung Kapree her favourite song.When John found out that Kapree has just passed he dropped back down to the ground and prayed to god to give her all the help she needs and support her in everything god bless her and may her wishes come true as she grows up.So John called up the mechanical work shop and said “no I wont take the job sorry” and the time after that call he is going to remember to close the gate and give the lion cubs some food and he did what he said what he was gonna do and lived happy but short of one cub they will never forget Kapree and keep her in their hearts forever.                                       By Te Puawai
























































































































































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